Sunday, January 9, 2011

Preparing for the 2012 Zombie Apocalypse (#1)

In my attempt to be at least 20% original, I'd like to come up with some regular features I can post on the blog. Some may be extraordinarily lame, others may be so brilliant you'll combust just reading them. Feel free to give me any feedback as I kick things off!

You may be aware that the Mayan calendar ends on December 21st 2012. And on that date, many people believe the world will end. Day of the Apocalypse. Some think it'll be a great cosmic shift in the higher conscious of humanity. Others consider worst possibilities, like the world may actually continue on as it is now. Me? I'm of those folk who believe the Zombie Apocalypse is upon us. I don't imagine zombie's have much interest in time (unless you count Human Happy Hour - free all-you-can-eat human buffet!), so the Mayan's didn't see much reason to continue documenting the days when humans will be nestled in the decaying tummies of our future Zombie Leaders.

It's not 2012 yet, but I think it wise to begin preparation early so we can act fast if a warning arises. Introducing my new monthly feature:

Preparing for the 2012 Zombie Apocalypse


Using only the books I've read in the last month, I will answer these critical questions should the Zombie Apocalypse call on us early.

December 9th - January 9th answers:




Zombie's are invading in mass numbers. Which 3 characters do I take on the run with me?
Sam from Hold Me Closer, Necromancer - He's a necromancer. He's still coming into his powers, but I trust in his abilities. Depending on the breed of zombie, maybe he can send the sucker back into the ground? Plus he'd make great company if he survives.
Patch from Crescendo - purely a strategical choice. If we survive the apocalypse, I'll need someone to repopulate the world with. What better way to rebuild our planet than creating hot, nephilim offspring?
Arriane from Torment - Okay, no other reason that I love her crazy, badass self. She's a fallen angel too, so I figure maybe she has a few tricks up her sleeve than can hep us out. If not, well at least I'll spend my last days having fun with my new BFF. We'll TP the zombies or something equally stupid.




Where would we hide out?  
Thanks to Good Oil, we'll be using Woolworths supermarket as our hideout. Do I really need to explain this one? It's the largest grocery chain in Australia. It's fully stocked with food, has basic medical supplies, they even sell some electrical items, so we can huddle up watching chick-flicks while the zombie's munch on the townsfolk outside.

What object or weapon would I take with me?  
Gold Dust. Dane's spaceship from Academy 7. From my knowledge zombie's can't fly, so it's perfect getaway vehicle.(Although I'm not ruling out the possibility that a zombie who devours a smart brain, might consider mating with an angel or a bat, giving us a hybrid flying zombie).

Who would I sacrifice to the zombies as a peace offering or attempt at distracting them while I run far away? 
The Lady from The Replacement. It'd be healthy for her to get a taste of her own medicine, what with the sacrificing innocent children and such.




Which one book from the past month would I save? 
Damn Brodie, you give me the hard questions! Hold Me Closer, Necromancer.

Which author from the past month's books would I save? 
*bites fingernails* Can't I save them all? NO. Ack! Lauren Kate. So I'll be able to read Passion and Rapture. Can't leave me on a cliffhanger in Torment and then use the "But zombies are eating my publishers!" excuse not to release the books.

Do I think we'll survive? 
Hmm. Me, Patch, Sam and Arriane hiding out at Woolies while the zombie's attack the world. Well, it's not really an offensive plan unless you count Sam trying to send them back where they belong. We wouldn't run out of food and drink for a while, and we could getaway in Gold Dust if they broke through our non-existent defenses. So yeah, I think we have a chance. Jump in the spaceship, head off to another planet... and probably have our brains liquefied by aliens. But at least Patch and I can give the Nephilim plan a shot while travelling!
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How about you? Using only the books you've read in the last month, which characters would you want by your side when the Zombies attack? What book would you save? Do you think you'd survive? Would you save me???

Any suggestions for other Zombie Preparation questions I can relate to books?

4 comments:

  1. Well seeing as I've read a lot of contemp this month involving single parents/amnesia or people involved in car crashes I don't think I'd stand much of a chance. However...Caleb from Leaving/Return to Paradise (which I did read this month) is a character I wouldn't mind bringing along!
    This post is geat, and very funny.

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  2. Hahahaha Brodie. Have I mentioned how much I love you? XD Human happy hour... XD Although I absolutely detest zombies and was about to turn back with that zombie picture, I read your first question and started lawl'ing. (No, literally!).

    I'd take Adrian from Vampire Academy, Cal from the Hex Hall series, and Stark from The House of Night series. So, Adrian has got his spirit abilities and is totally bad-ass. I think that speaks for itself. Cal, while not as bad-ass, can heal. Then again, zombie bites don't heal, but I trust that Cal will sacrifice anything to heal me if I get bitten or have my jugular ripped out of my throat. Stark, again, is bad-ass and can fight through loads of zombified nubcakes. The best part? If we survive through the apocalypse and there's no one else left, I've got THREE hawt doods to help me repopulate earth. Mmmmmm. ;)

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  3. Aww thank you both for the love! <3

    @Jenny: Haha no, amnesia and car crash victims are probably not going to be an advantage to staying alive. Unless you use them as bait (I don't think you're that evil though!) Totally agree with your choice of Caleb!

    @Kristina: ADRIAN! *shoves you into a zombie's mouth* Er.. sorry. I'm just so not okay with you potentially repopulating with Adrian - he's mine :p LOL love your answers, great choices! I think you will totally survive the zombie apocalypse. Then all you'll have to worry about is surviving the hotness overload *faints*

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  4. Haha love this feature Brodie!

    That's why:

    I just awarded you the Stylish Blogger Award! Check out: http://yaconcoction.blogspot.com/2011/01/stylish-blogger-award.html

    If you have it already I'm sorry :)

    ReplyDelete

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