Sunday, July 10, 2011

Harry Potter Week: Potterwatch

I'm delighted to welcome Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred and George here to help me introduce this week a little more. Of course, since they're all wanted by the Ministry and Death Eaters, for safety reasons they won't be with me in person. Instead they've agreed to join us via radio with their latest installment of Potterwatch.

George: Don't be a prat, Ron. That spider's too small to eat you.
Fred: But big enough to crawl in your ear and lay eggs in your brains.
Harry: Guys, I think we're on air.
Hermione: Oh! Um... hi everyone.
Ron: Hi, I'm Roonil Wazlib.
Hermione: Roonil Wazlib? Really?
Harry: Voldemort is hunting us down... fake names wouldn't hurt.
Voldemort: Harrrrrry Poooootttttter
Ron: No, Roooooonil Waaaaaaazlib
Harry: How the hell did he get on air?!
George: Voldy, old boy!
Fred: Corking to see you, mate.
George: Have you done something with your nose?
Fred: I think it's lost a few pounds.
George: Or all bone structure.
Harry: [laughs]
Ron: [laughs]
Voldemort: CRUCIO!
Fred: And here I thought we were building a friendship.
George: Friends don't Radio-Crucio friends, Voldy
Fred: You can forget about the half price U-NO-POO now.
Hermione: His name is taboo, remember?! But... it seems as though he can only breach our airwaves. Thankfully he didn't show up inside the tent.
Ron: Which would have been a real mood killer. I thought Harry snuffed him already?
Harry: Nah, the movie's not out 'til later this week.
Hermione: Ron! Don't spoil the movie!
Ron: If I wanted to spoil the movie, I'd tell them they change the scene where we--
Hermione: Waddiwasi. Ronald Weasley, don't you dare!
Ron: [chokes]
Harry: Er.... Hermione? I think Ron's starting to turn purple.
Fred: The violet really brings out the colour of your eyes, Ron.
Hermione: Are you going to spoil the movie?
Ron: [vigorously shaking head]
Hermione: [mutters counter-spell]
Ron: Bloody nutcase! I could have died!
Hermione: The readers could have been spoiled!
Fred: Are you two done your bickering?
George: You're not an old married couple just yet,
Fred: Although Ron does have a bit of hunched back
Ron: I do not!
Harry: Maybe we should help introduce the coming week?
Hermione: Apparently Brodie's reliving memories through the pensieve tomorrow.
Ron:. Bet she'll relive you and I snogging in the Room of Requirement. You-Know Who's a real tosspot, but he did give us an wicked first kiss.
Hermione: Spoilers, Ron!
Ron: I know you enjoyed it, Hermione.
Hermione: [cheeks are suspiciously pink]
Voldemort: Dispose of your dead with dignity.
Harry: It's too early for your damn ultimatum, Tom. The movie's not out yet.
Voldemort: You dare-
Fred: Yeah, I haven't bloody well carked it yet. Let a man live his final days in peace.
George: 'ear, 'ear
Voldemort: Confront your fate, Potter. I have the Elder wand-
Hermione: For goodness sake Ron, he found the Elder wand at the end of Part 1!
Ron: Yeah, well there might be some people who haven't seen it yet.
Harry: They better have. I didn't set out on a dangerous horcrux-killing mission 'cause I was bored with my life.
Fred: And I didn't die just to see if it would hurt.
George: You don't die until part 2. What about my bleedin' ear?
Ron: Don't forget I lost a fingernail apparating from those Snatchers!
Hermione: Oh, how insensitive we've all been. Ron lost a fingernail, don't worry that Fred dies!
Hermione: Oh shut up, Ron!
Ron: You shut up. You're the one who's been all high and mighty about spoilers!
Hermione: I'm so sorry I want the movie to be a surprise!
Voldemort: Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat, immediately. You have one hou-
Harry: Go fondle an acromantula, Riddle. And really, get some new lines. You're plagerising book 7 now.

Erm... okay. Well... they didn't exactly introduce the week, did they? Fred and George actually made me pay them 10 Galleons for an appearance here! Thankfully the trio offered their time for free. So they'll be stopping by again midweek to help me a little with the day's topic and I hear they'll be chatting on Liz's blog Wednesday aswell.

Stay tuned all week for plenty of Potterific love! And please stay alert for any unusual Ministry activity, if you see any of them spying on us, you're welcome to hex them.

Be sure to stop by my co-witches blogs:
Honey at Sniff Books, Not Drugs
Sonia at The Story Queen
Liz at Planet Print


  1. Haha, all this bickering seems just like them! Can't wait for all the Pottertastic posts :)

  2. Haha, Brodie this was awesome. You totally nailed every single character and I really don't know many people that could pull off Fred and George (I sure couldn't). So excited for the real posts to start tomorrow! :)

  3. Hahahahaha there are no words for how much I love you right now. This is so great. Best week ever! :D

  4. You did a fantastic job with the characters! I can't wait to see what else you have in store for us! :)

  5. LMAO! Oh wow, Brodie, you've outdone yourself with this post. Awesome.

  6. You know I love this <3. It's amazing how you managed to make Fred and George sound so much like themselves, they're awesome! And yes, the trio will be returning on Wednesday...:P

  7. FRED AND GEORGE!! MY BOYSSSS!! <3 How could anyone not love them?!?

    I mean, I don't understand how Voldemort could possible try to radio-Crucio them! The three of them would've gotten along great! The twins even nicknamed him Voldy! And don't forget about the 50% off on U-No-Poo. Voldy doesn't know what he's missing!

    Best line? "Go fondle an acromantula." WIN!


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